got wavs? - Anchorman The Legend Of Ron Burgundy Quotes all in Wavs & MP3s Sounds

All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

wastheballs.wav(209K) wastheballs.mp3(209K)

Bill Lawson - Narrator (Bill Kurtis): "He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls."

meremortals.wav(46K) meremortals.mp3(46K)

Narrator: "He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals."

wolverinepurr.wav(40K) wolverinepurr.mp3(40K)

Narrator: "He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr."

howgoodilook.wav(127K) howgoodilook.mp3(127K)

Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell): "Mm, I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!"

hownowbrowncow.wav(52K) hownowbrowncow.mp3(52K)

Ron: "How now brown cow. How now brown cow. How now brown cow."

howareyou.wav(221K) howareyou.mp3(221K)

Ron: "How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don't wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin? La-lanolin, like-- like sheep's wool."

ilovescotch.wav(90K) ilovescotch.mp3(90K)

Ron: "Mm, I love scotch. I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm."

thearsonist.wav(22K) thearsonist.mp3(22K)

Ron: "The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet."

dontbelieveyou.wav(96K) dontbelieveyou.mp3(96K)

Ron: "How much time? 30? 30 seconds?"
Stage Hand: "You are on right now."
Ron: "I'm on right now? I don't believe you."

looklikehell.wav(114K) looklikehell.mp3(114K)

Ron: "Oh, come on, Audry! I look like hell, I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well, if you were a man, I would punch you. I'd punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league."

bankloan.wav(29K) bankloan.mp3(29K)

Ron: "The human torch was denied a bank loan."

lookatme.wav(37K) lookatme.mp3(37K)

Ron: "You hear me? Audry! Look at me!"

hahahohaha.wav(97K) hahahohaha.mp3(97K)

Ron: "Ho-Ho. Ho-ha-ha-ho. Ho-ha-ho. (He starts screaming)"

inyourworld.wav(45K) inyourworld.mp3(45K)

Ron: "Good evening, I'm Ron Burgundy, and this is what's happening in your world tonight."

stayclassy.wav(34K) stayclassy.mp3(34K)

Ron: "I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diago."

yourattention.wav(166K) yourattention.mp3(166K)

Ron: "Ladies and gentlemen, can I please hove your attention? I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. And I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!"

cannonball.wav(21K) cannonball.mp3(21K)

Ron: "Cannonball!"

nickname.wav(186K) nickname.mp3(186K)

Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd): "I know what you're asking yourself. And the answer is yes. I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the octagon. But I aslo nicknamed my testis. My left one is James Westfall and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noiswater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang."

havingfun.wav(103K) havingfun.mp3(103K)

Champ Kind (David Koechner): "I'm all about having fun. You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen, maybe go to Sea World, take my pants off."

whammy.wav(11K) whammy.mp3(11K)

Champ: "Whammy!"

iampolite.wav(118K) iampolite.mp3(118K)

Brick Tamland (Steve Carell): "I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite, and I'm rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks."

yourboobies.wav(102K) yourboobies.mp3(102K)

Hot Blonde (Darcy Donavan): "I've got a big story for you."
Ron: "Mm-hmm."
Hot Blonde: "And It's right here."
Ron: "Well, hello. You pointed to your boobies."

beardofzeus.wav(24K) beardofzeus.mp3(24K)

Ron: "By the beard of zeus."

ohhhhh.wav(20K) ohhhhh.mp3(20K)

Ron: "Ohhhhh."

breathtaking.wav(247K) breathtaking.mp3(247K)

Ron: "Hope I'm not disturbing you, but, uh, I saw you from across the party, and, uh, I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breathtaking heinie. I mean, that thing is good. I want to be friends with it."

abigdeal.wav(260K) abigdeal.mp3(260K)

Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate): "Well, you certainly know how to compliment a woman. Now, if you'll excuse me."
Ron: "Do you know who I am?"
Veronica: "No, I can't say that I do."
Ron: "I don't know how to put this, but, I'm kind of a big deal."
Veronica: "Really"
Ron: "People know me."
Veronica: "Well, I'm very happy for you."

veryimportant.wav(197K) veryimportant.mp3(197K)

Ron: "I'm very important, uh, I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. I-- I'm friends with Merlin Olson, too. He comes over on occasion."

startover.wav(14K) startover.mp3(14K)

Ron: "Can I start over again?"

iwannabenoyou.wav(164K) iwannabenoyou.mp3(164K)

Ron: "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. If you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I wanna be on you. Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait."

minibuddha.wav(282K) minibuddha.mp3(282K)

Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "What? I'm lonely? I'm not lonely!"
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego."
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "Wow. You know How to cut to the core of me, Baxter."
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha covered in hair."

thatsamazing.wav(228K) thatsamazing.mp3(228K)

Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "Come again?"
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please."
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "Huh?"
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "You pooped in the refrigerator?"
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "And you ate a whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that?"
Baxter The Dog: "(Barking)"
Ron: "Actually, I'm not even mad. That's amazing. Hmm."

hungover.wav(55K) hungover.mp3(55K)

Brian: "Oh, that was one crazy party. I am hung over."

ateyoursquirrel.wav(233K) ateyoursquirrel.mp3(233K)

Champ: "I woke up this morning and I bleep a squirrel. I mean it, literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So I got this bleep-covered squirrel down there in the office. Don't kno what to name it."
Brick: "Oh, I'm sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel."

payingattention.wav(55K) payingattention.mp3(55K)

Ed Harken (Fred Willard): "Ron, are you paying attention?"
Ron: "Nope."
Ed: "Well, this concerns all of us."
Ron: "Okay."

notanchorlady.wav(201K) notanchorlady.mp3(201K)

Brian: "I mean, come on, Ed! It's bullcrap! Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies. I mean, they rev my engine, but they don't belong in the newsroom!"
Champ: "It is anchorman, not anchorlady! And that is a scientific fact!"
Brian: "Uh-huh."
Brick: "I don't know what we're yelling about!"

yellingabout.wav(34K) yellingabout.mp3(34K)

Brick: "I don't know what we're yelling about!"

itsterrible.wav(107K) itsterrible.mp3(107K)

Brian: "You're with us, Ron, what do you think?"
Ron: "She-- sh-- It's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!"
Brian: "Mm-hmm."
Brick: "Loud noises!"

loudnoises.wav(23K) loudnoises.mp3(23K)

Brick: "Loud noises!"

attractbears.wav(179K) attractbears.mp3(179K)

Ed: "Alright, everyone relax. She's not gonna take anyone's airtime."
Brick: "I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation."
Brian: "Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."

bigolebehind.wav(156K) bigolebehind.mp3(156K)

Champ: "I will say one thing for her, Ed. She does have a nice big ole behind. I'd like to put some barbecue sauce on that butt and just (jibberish)"
Ed: "Stop it now. (laughing)"

nightwolf.wav(102K) nightwolf.mp3(102K)

Champ: "That behind is driving me loco! I'm like a night wolf. (howling)"

gonesoftonus.wav(54K) gonesoftonus.mp3(54K)

Brian: "He's gone soft on us like some schoolboy bitch."
Champ: "You sound like a gay."

niceclothes.wav(185K) niceclothes.mp3(185K)

Wes Mantooth (Vince Vaughn): "Hey, nice clothes, gentlemen. I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale. (laughs goofily) Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys. (laughs goofily)"
Brick: "Hey! Where did you get those clothes, at the toilet store?"

windshield.wav(113K) windshield.mp3(113K)

Champ: "I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!"

ihateyou.wav(37K) ihateyou.mp3(37K)

Wes: "I hate you, Ron Burgundy, I hate you!"

nopantsdance.wav(74K) nopantsdance.mp3(74K)

Brian: "I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up."

whatcologne.wav(389K) whatcologne.mp3(389K)

Ron: "What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentlemen, or-- wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight."
Brian: "No, she gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep, it's made with bits of real panther. So you know it's good."
Ron: "It's quite pungent."
Brian: "Oh yeah."
Ron: "Ooh, it's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. In a good way."
Brian: "Yeah."
Ron: "Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline."

realpanther.wav(42K) realpanther.mp3(42K)

Brian: "Yep, it's made with bits of real panther. So you know it's good."

quitepungent.wav(13K) quitepungent.mp3(13K)

Ron: "It's quite pungent."

formidablescent.wav(22K) formidablescent.mp3(22K)

Ron: "Ooh, it's a formidable scent."

stingsnostrils.wav(32K) stingsnostrils.mp3(32K)

Ron: "It stings the nostrils... in a good way."

everytime.wav(83K) everytime.mp3(83K)

Brian: "They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works everytime."
Ron: "That doesn't make sense."

thatsmell.wav(170K) thatsmell.mp3(170K)

Veronica: "What is that smell? Oh!"
Brian: "That's the smell of desire, milady."
Veronica: "God, no, it smells like-- like a used diaper filled with indian food. Oh! Excuse me."
Brian: "You know, desire smells like that to some people."

turdburnthair.wav(41K) turdburnthair.mp3(41K)

Garth Holiday (Chris Parnell): "What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair."

bigfootsdick.wav(25K) bigfootsdick.mp3(25K)

News Station Employee (Debra McGuire): "Smells like Bigfoot's dick!"

pantsparty.wav(461K) pantsparty.mp3(461K)

Brick: "Cough! Look over here! Excuse me, Veronica."
Veronica: "Yes, what is it, Brick?"
Brick: "I would like to extend to you an invitatian to the pants party."
Veronica: "Excuse me?"
Brick: "The party. The pants-- with the pants. Party with pants?"
Veronica: "Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and I'm invites?"
Brick: "That's it."
Veronica: "Hmm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?"
Brick: "No-- yes, he did."
Veronica: "Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants."
Brick: "Very well. Ian? Would you like to go to a party in my pants?"
Stage Manager (Ian Roberts): "No, Brick."
Brick: "All right. Let's go!"

deepburn.wav(179K) deepburn.mp3(179K)

Ron: "Oh, it's the deep burn! Oh, it's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting, I did over a thousand. You have your ubulus muscle which connects to the upper dorcinus."

fortheguns.wav(313K) fortheguns.mp3(313K)

Ron: "I'm just gonna grab this shirt, if you don't mind. Just watch out for the guns. They'll get you."
Veronica: "You are pathetic. This has to be the feeblest pickup attempt that I have ever encountered. You know, I expected it from the rest of them, Mr. Burgundy, but not from you."
Ron: "Wait a minute! I-- puckup attempt? I-- I'm offended. I have very little time to get to the gym, so I have to sculpt my guns at the office."
Veronica: "Oh, stop calling your arms guns."

toohurt.wav(256K) toohurt.mp3(256K)

Ron: "Look, my plan was to ask you if I could squire you about town as one professional helping another professional, because I know what it's like to be lonely in a new city."
Veronica: "Really?"
Ron: "Yes. But now I am-- I am too hurt. I'm shocked and offended and-- and hurt."

opticalillulion.wav(325K) opticalillulion.mp3(325K)

Veronica: "Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection."
Ron: "Really? Yes, I do. Um, I'm sorry, it's the-- it's the pleats. It's uh, it's actually a n optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants. It's not flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to... the pants store. Oh, this is awkward."

massiveerection.wav(28K) massiveerection.mp3(28K)

Veronica: "Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection."

backtowork.wav(27K) backtowork.mp3(27K)

Ron: "Nothing to look at. Go back to work everyone."

notimpressed.wav(23K) notimpressed.mp3(23K)

Ron: "Don't act like you're not impressed."

questionmark.wav(148K) questionmark.mp3(148K)

Ron: "You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?"
Ed: "Damnit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? For the last time, anything you put on that prompter, Burgundy will read."

heshairy.wav(86K) heshairy.mp3(86K)

Veronica: "Oh, god, this is a mistake. This is a mistake. He's very cute. Very cute. No he's not. No he's not. He's hairy."

handsomebeast.wav(89K) handsomebeast.mp3(89K)

Ron: "You look ravishing. It truely is beauty and the beast. I might add a handsome beast at that."

downsmooth.wav(45K) downsmooth.mp3(45K)

Ron: "Mm, drink it in. It always goes down smooth."

sandiego.wav(573K) sandiego.mp3(573K)

Ron: "It's a fact. It's the greatest city in the history of mankind. Discovered by the Germans in 1904. They named it San Diago which of course in German means a whale's vagina."
Veronica: "N-- no, there's no way that's correct."
Ron: "I'm sorry. I was trying to impress you."
Veronica: "Oh."
Ron: "I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't thin anyone knows what it means anybore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago."
Veronica: "It-- Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?"
Ron: "No. No."
Veronica: "No, that's-- that's what it means. Really."
Ron: "Well, agree to disagree."

wheninrome.wav(170K) wheninrome.mp3(170K)

Veronica: "Oh, well, when in Rome."
Ron: "Yes? Please go on."
Veronica: "Uh, do as the Romans do? It's an old expression."
Ron: "Oh! I've never heard of it."
Veronica: "Oh."
Ron: "It's wonderful, though."

copeople.wav(291K) copeople.mp3(291K)

Veronica: "We really should be going. I swore that I would never get involved with a coworker."
ROn: "Wait. What if, just for tonight, we weren't coworkers? We were co-people?"
Veronica: "I don't--"
ROn: "Shh. You be a woman. I'll be a man. That's all."

stormingyour.wav(50K) stormingyour.mp3(50K)

Ron: "Oh, I'm storming your castle on my steed, milady."

pleasuretown.wav(22K) pleasuretown.mp3(22K)

Veronica: "Take me to pleasure town."

frigginloveyou.wav(55K) frigginloveyou.mp3(55K)

Ron: "I friggin' love you!"
Veronica: "I friggin' love you back."

wheninrome2.wav(206K) wheninrome2.mp3(206K)

Veronica: "But it's very important to me that I be viewed as a professional."
Ron: "Right. When in Rome. Hmm."
Veronica: "Yeah. That, uh, expression doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about"
Ron: "Oh. Oh, I'm--"
Veronica: "What I was saying."
Ron: "I still don't quite understand what it means."

yelledit.wav(170K) yelledit.mp3(170K)

Ron: "Veronica Corningstone and I had sex and now we are in love! Did I say that loud?"
Brian: "Yeah, you pretty much yelled it."
Ron: "Well, I can't help it. It's fantastic."

whatsitlike.wav(158K) whatsitlike.mp3(158K)

Champ: "What's it like, Ron?"
Ron: "The intimate times? Outta site, my man."
Brian: "No, the other thing? Love?"
Brick: "Yeah, what is that?"

inloveonce.wav(226K) inloveonce.mp3(226K)

Brian: "I think I was in love once."
Ron: "Really? What was her name?"
Brian: "I don't remember."
Ron: "That's not a good start but-- but, keep going."
Brian: "She was brazillian or chinese or something wierd. I met her in the bathroom of a K-mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see eachother again."
Ron: "I'm pretty sure that's not love."
Brian: "Damnit!"

washername.wav(57K) washername.mp3(57K)

Brian: "I think I was in love once."
Ron: "Really? What was her name?"
Brian: "I don't remember."

ilovelamp.wav(252K) ilovelamp.mp3(252K)

Brick: "I love... carpet. I love... desk."
Ron: "Brick, are you just looking at thinks in he office and saying you love them?"
Brick: "I love lamp."
Ron: "Do you really love the lamp, or are you saying it because you saw it?"
Brick: "I love lamp! I love lamp."

afternoondelight.wav(834K) afternoondelight.mp3(834K)

Ron: "You really wanna know what love is?"
Champ: "Yeah."
Ron: "Yes, tell us."
Brick: "More than anything in tho world, Ron."
Ron: "Well, it's really quite simple. It's kinda like: (singing) Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto's always been when it's right, it's right. Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night."
All: "(start singing Afternoon Delight Written by William Danoff)"
Ron: "You guy's have it, I think."
All: "(singing) Afternoon deright."
Champ: "I don't know, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy."
Brian: "Sounds like you have mental problems, man."
Brick: "Yeah, you have mental problems, man."
Brian: "Yeah, it really does."
Brick: "Man."
All: "(singing) Afternoon Delight."

mentalproblems.wav(111K) mentalproblems.mp3(111K)

Champ: "I don't know, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy."
Brian: "Sounds like you have mental problems, man."
Brick: "Yeah, you have mental problems, man."
Brian: "Yeah, it really does."
Brick: "Man."

inthebedroom.wav(122K) inthebedroom.mp3(122K)

Ron: "And that, of course, was our newest reporter, Veronica, Corningstone. She's really great. I'd also like to share with you that we are currently dating and that she is quite a handful in the bedroom."

introuble.wav(44K) introuble.mp3(44K)

Ron: "Uh-oh. I might be in trouble no that one."

stoptalking.wav(461K) stoptalking.mp3(461K)

Champ: "We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without ya. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you! I miss your laugh! I miss-- I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together."
Brian: "Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while."

getmarried.wav(266K) getmarried.mp3(266K)

Ron: "I know that, one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married on top of a mountain. And there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside, and you won't be invited!"

goodgoodone.wav(109K) goodgoodone.mp3(109K)

Brian: "I'm telling you, this lady has really crawled into Ron's head."
Brick: "(Laughing) Good-- Good one."

howkidsare.wav(156K) howkidsare.mp3(156K)

Veronica: "I could come back later, Mr. Hraken."
Ed: "Oh, no, no, no. It's just parent stuff. It seems our youngest, Chris was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into crowd."
Veronica: "Mm."
Ed: "You know how kids are."

throwaburrito.wav(305K) throwaburrito.mp3(305K)

Angry Biker (Jack Black): "What the hell, bro?"
Ron: "Hello, neighbor."
Angry Biker: "Did you just throw a burrito out your window, huh?"
Ron: "I believe I did."
Angry Biker: "What, are you high or something? Did you see what happened?"
Ron: "I did see. That was a terrific little spill. That's quite a rasberry."
Angry Biker: "That's my chopper you just thrashed, Broseph."
Ron: "Easy, compadre. I'm your friend out here, all right?"
Angry Biker: "I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass!"
Ron: "If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you, right here."

whatthehell.wav(12K) whatthehell.mp3(12K)

Angry Bike: "What the hell, bro?"

helloneighbor.wav(12K) helloneighbor.mp3(12K)

Ron: "Hello, neighbor"

highorsomithing.wav(14K) highorsomithing.mp3(14K)

Angry Biker: "What are you, high or something?"

easycompadre.wav(16K) easycompadre.mp3(16K)

Ron: "Easy compadre."

fisticuffs.wav(52K) fisticuffs.mp3(52K)

Ron: "If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you, right here."

whatdoyoulove.wav(262K) whatdoyoulove.mp3(262K)

Angry Biker: "You destroyed the onlything I love. All right? There it is. What do you love?"
Ron: "I love poetry and a glass of Scotch and, of course, my friend Baxter here."
Angry Biker: "Well, guess what. Now this is happening. (He picks up the dog and carries him to the edge of the bridge)"
Ron: "Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you doing?"
Angry Biker: "(He kicks the dog off the brigde into the river) That's how I roll."

howiroll.wav(16K) howiroll.mp3(16K)

Angry Biker: "That's how I roll."

exquisitebreasts.wav(187K) exquisitebreasts.mp3(187K)

Veronica: "Just want you to know if Ron does not show up, I am ready to go on."
Ed: "Sweetheart, you and I have had this discussion a million times. There's never been a woman anchor."
Veronica: "Mr. Harken, this city needs it's news."
Ed: "Oh?"
Veronica: "And you are gonna deprive them of that because I have breasts, Exquisite breasts?"

threethings.wav(250K) threethings.mp3(250K)

Veronica: "Now, I am gonna go on, and if you want to try and stop me, bring it on. Because I am good at three things: fighting, screwing and reading the news. Now, I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be, huh?"
Ed: "Uh, screwing?"
Veronica: "(She slaps him and shoves Garth's face back.) I will be in makeup."

sheisterrifying.wav(28K) sheisterrifying.mp3(28K)

Ed: "Jesus, she is terrifying!"

puntedhim.wav(392K) puntedhim.mp3(392K)

Brian: "Fantana."
Ron: "(Wails uncontrollably)"
Brian: "Ron, are you okay?"
Ron: "The man punted Baxter."
Brian: "Calm down. Breathe, Ron. Breathe."
Ron: "The man who loved the motorcycle."
Brian: "What'd the bad man do, Ron?"
Ron: "The motorcycle on the bridge. I hit him with a burrito."
Brian: "Ron!"
Ron: "And he took him with his foot and he kicked him! That's what he did."
Brian: "Someone punted him?"
Ron: "Look, wait. Wait, let me say something. (wails uncontrollably)"

glasscase.wav(59K) glasscase.mp3(59K)

Brian: "Ron, wh-- where are you?"
ROn: "I'm in a glass case of emotion!"

yournotron.wav(13K) yournotron.mp3(13K)

Brick: "You're not Ron."

itwasajoke.wav(240K) itwasajoke.mp3(240K)

Ron: "I can't believe you did this to me. You read my news!"
Veronica: "I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that!"
Ron: "I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke! I even wrote it down in my diary, 'Veronica had a very funny joke today.' I laugh at it later that night."

wearethrough.wav(86K) wearethrough.mp3(86K)

Ron: "Get out! Just go! You-- We are through! Through because of your actions you scorpion woman!"

scorpionwoman.wav(19K) scorpionwoman.mp3(19K)

Ron: "You scorpion woman!"

notrealpirates.wav(76K) notrealpirates.mp3(76K)

Ron: "What Brian didn't tell you was that those were not real pirates. They looked convincing, though."
Brian: "Oh, yes."

stoppingby.wav(171K) stoppingby.mp3(171K)

Ron: "Well, for all of us here at channel four news, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego."
Veronica: "And thanks for stopping by."
Ron: "But mainly, stay classy."
Veronica: "Thanks for stopping by."
Ron: "Stay classy. I'm Ron Burgundy."
Veronica: "Thanks for stopping by."
Ron: "Stay classy. Ron Burgundy."

realhooker.wav(47K) realhooker.mp3(47K)

Ron: "Huh, you are a real hooker. And I'm gonna slap you in public."

waytoomuch.wav(73K) waytoomuch.mp3(73K)

Veronica: "You have way too much pubic hair."
Ron: "Hmm, actually that's a point of pride. I'm very proud of my mane of pubic hair. So, thank you."

manboobs.wav(63K) manboobs.mp3(63K)

Veronica: "You have man boobs."
Ron: "You've got a dirty whorish mouth. That's what you have."

intheovary.wav(149K) intheovary.mp3(149K)

Ron: "I'm gonna punch you in the ovary. That's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot."
Veronica: "Ooh, ow."
Ron: "Right to the baby-maker."
Veronica: "Ah, jazz flute is for little fairy boys."
Ron: "Okay, you know what? That's uncalled for. I can't work with this woman."

titsmcgee.wav(138K) titsmcgee.mp3(138K)

Announcer (Chuck Poynter): "You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee."
Veronica: "Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation."

yourdoctor.wav(369K) yourdoctor.mp3(369K)

Veronica: "(phone rings) Veronica Corningstone."
Ron: "This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. You're-- You got knocked up. You should probably get out of news."
Veronica: "Who is this?"
Ron: "This is Dr. Chim. Dr. Chim Richalds."
Veronica: "Ron, is this you?"
Ron: "I'm a professional doctor. You saw me. You don't remember. We-- You should move. You should get out of the business."
Veronica: "This is pathetic."
Ron: "You're pathetic."
Champ: "What'd she say?"
Ron: "She-- I don't-- I think she bought it."

sonofabeesting.wav(40K) sonofabeesting.mp3(40K)

Ron: "Son of a bee sting. She's turning the whole office against us."

buynewsuits.wav(156K) buynewsuits.mp3(156K)

Champ: "What are we gonna do?"
Ron: "There's only one thing a man can do when he's suffering from a spiritual and existensial funk."
Champ: "Go to the zoo, flip off the monkeys?"
Ron: "No, buy new suits."
All: "Yea!"

hesaidheine.wav(237K) hesaidheine.mp3(237K)

Wes Mantooth: "You know, I understand that, uh, they had to bring a female in, change your diapers, wipe the dribble away from your bubbling lips, rub vasoline all over your heine and tell that it's special and different from everyone elses."
Brick: "(laughing) He said heine."

letsdance.wav(20K) letsdance.mp3(20K)

Ron: "Let's dance, dickweed."

murderyourass.wav(30K) murderyourass.mp3(30K)

Frank Vitchard (Luke Wilson): "I'm gonna straight-up murder your ass."

seethatcoming.wav(55K) seethatcoming.mp3(55K)

Frank Vitchard: "(his arm gets sliced off) Oh, god! Oh, I did not see that coming!"

wantedfor.wav(331K) wantedfor.mp3(331K)

Ron: "Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast."
Champ: "It jumped up a notch."
Ron: "It did, didn't it?"
Brick: "Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."
Ron: "I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?"
Brick: "Yeah. There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident."
Ron: "Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder."

escalated.wav(79K) escalated.mp3(79K)

Ron: "Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast."

killedaguy.wav(90K) killedaguy.mp3(90K)

Champ: "It jumped up a notch."
Ron: "It did, didn't it?"
Brick: "Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."
Ron: "I saw that. Brick killed a guy."

trident.wav(61K) trident.mp3(61K)

Ron: "Did you throw a trident?"
Brick: "Yeah. There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident."

cockfight.wav(68K) cockfight.mp3(68K)

Ron: "I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight."

notababy.wav(68K) notababy.mp3(68K)

Veronica: "Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby."
Ron: "I'm not a baby, I am a man! I am an anchorman!"

itsscience.wav(149K) itsscience.mp3(149K)

Ron: "I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel towel out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."

piratehooker.wav(23K) piratehooker.mp3(23K)

Ron: "You are a smelly priate hooker."

blueberry.wav(16K) blueberry.mp3(16K)

Veronica: "You look like a blueberry."

whoreisland.wav(32K) whoreisland.mp3(32K)

Ron: "Why don't you go back to your home on whore island?"

thathurt.wav(27K) thathurt.mp3(27K)

Ron: "Ah! Knights of Rolumbus, that hurt!"

yourself.wav(87K) yourself.mp3(87K)

Veronica: "From the entire channel four news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone."
Ron: "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go bleep yourself, San Diego."

goBLEEPyour.wav(46K) goBLEEPyour.mp3(46K)

Ron: "Go bleep yourself, San Diego."
Stage Manager: "(shrieks)"

odinsraven.wav(32K) odinsraven.mp3(32K)

Ron: "Oh, great Odin's raven!"

poopmouth.wav(189K) poopmouth.mp3(189K)

Garth: "Ron, why did you say that? Why? Why, Ron, why? You're my hero, Ron."
Ron: "Garth, I--"
Garth: "You come out with stink like that. Poop! You poop mouth. Get all that poop out of your mouth."

reducedtorubble.wav(53K) reducedtorubble.mp3(53K)

Ron: "I have nothing left, nothing! I've been reduced to rubble!"

saytheword.wav(68K) saytheword.mp3(68K)

Ron: "Dont you know, I would never say the word bleep. I would never bleeping ever bleeping say that! Ever!"

neversayBLEEP.wav(43K) neversayBLEEP.mp3(43K)

Ron: "Don't you know I would never say bleep! bleep!"

catpoop.wav(24K) catpoop.mp3(24K)

Ron: "I will not eat cat poop!"

milkwasa.wav(73K) milkwasa.mp3(73K)

Ron: "It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice."

fartnoises.wav(274K) fartnoises.mp3(274K)

Ron: "Skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight. Af-- (rasberry) I make fart noises with my mouth. (rasberry) And I like to cut--"
Bartender (Danny Trejo): "Hey, nutjob, quit the singing! You're creeping out all the regulars."
Ron: "I'm expressing my inner anguish through the magesty of song!"

gotnoheart.wav(175K) gotnoheart.mp3(175K)

Bartender: "Now, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Ron: "I've got no heart! Because a she-devel stole it. And you know what the worst part about it is? She's better than me! She's better than me."

dontspeak.wav(142K) dontspeak.mp3(142K)

Bartender: "You know, times are changing. Ladies can do stuff now. And you're gonna have to learn how to deal with that."
Ron: "What? Were you saying something? Look, I don't speak Spanish."

newsteamassemble.wav(59K) newsteamassemble.mp3(59K)

Ron: "News team, assemble!"

inapickle.wav(40K) inapickle.mp3(40K)

Ron: "This is hard! I am in a pickle."

soundsharsh.wav(52K) soundsharsh.mp3(52K)

Brian: "Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live."

regretthis.wav(30K) regretthis.mp3(30K)

Ron: "I immediatly regret this decision."

aremassive.wav(49K) aremassive.mp3(49K)

Ron: "These bears are massive. They looked a lot smaller from up there."

wokethebears.wav(232K) wokethebears.mp3(232K)

Veronica: "That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't--"
Ron: "Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it? It was Wes Mantooth. Oh, I should have known."
Veronica: "No, no. No, I did it."
Ron: "You bitch! "
Veronica: "Shh!"
Ron: "Oh, you woke the bears. Why did you do that?"