Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay price at: amazon
All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 22Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
whatthe.wav(61K) whatthe.mp3(28K) whatthe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold Lee (John Cho): "What the bleep? What the bleep? What are you doing?"
racist.wav(788K) racist.mp3(358K) racist.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Airport Security Guard (D'Anthony Palms): "I'm gonna need you to step aside, please. Let me search you."
Kumar Patel (Kal Penn): "Did I beep?"
Airport Security Guard: "Oh, no, you didn't beep. Just a random security check. If you could just step aside, please? Just over here."
Kumar: "Random, huh?"
Airport Security Guard: "Yeah."
Kumar: "So this has nothing to do with my ethnicity?"
Harold: "Come on, just do what the guy says."
Airport Security Guard: "Sir, it's our job as airport security to search for all possible weapons or illegal drugs."
Kumar: "So just because of the color of my skin, you assume that I have drugs on me? What are you a racist?"
Airport Security Guard: "Racist? Dude, I'm black."
Harold: "He's black. He's not racist."
Kumar: "Please, dude, you're barely even brown."
Harold: "No, he didn't mean that."
Kumar: "Compared to me, you look like Matthew Perry."
justabong.wav(309K) justabong.mp3(141K) justabong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Old White Woman (Juli Erickson): "Terrorist!"
Harold: "No, ma'am. Not a terrorist, he's just an idiot."
Kumar: "This is just a bong."
Random Passenger #1 (Kelvin Payton): "He said he got a bomb!"
toysfortots.wav(286K) toysfortots.mp3(131K) toysfortots.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold: "We're innocent men! We're innocent men! I'm an innocent man. I donate blood... and toys... for tots."
donuts.wav(401K) donuts.mp3(183K) donuts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kumar: "Screw that. You think you guys are heroes for killing innocent people?"
Harold: "It's 'cause of assholes like you that we're even in this bleeping place, you bleeping cowards!"
Terrorist: "Well, maybe if the people in your country stopped eating donuts and started realizing what their government is doing to the world bleepholes like us wouldn't exist."
Kumar: "Bleep you! Donuts are awesome!"
Harold: "They're delicious."
tivo.wav(208K) tivo.mp3(95K) tivo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kumar: "I'm telling you, Jorge, the first thing you have to do when you get to America, buy a device called TiVo, Okay? Freedom means nothing if you're a slave to regular programing. I promise you that."
offensive.wav(512K) offensive.mp3(233K) offensive.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ron Fox (Rob Corddry): "Ask the Lees what they know about their son's terrorist activity."
Interpreter (Ed Helms): "(Asks something in a foreign language)"
Mr. Lee (Clyde Kusatsu): "Look, we've been american citizens for over 40 years. Now, frankly, I find this very offensive."
Interpreter: "They're using some sort of dialect I've never heard before. But I'm pretty sure he said something about going on the offensive."
nothigh.wav(145K) nothigh.mp3(66K) nothigh.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold: "This is news to me. I never knew farmers smoked weed."
Raymus (Jon Reep): "You ever try farmin' not high? It's borin' as shit."
bumpy.wav(123K) bumpy.mp3(57K) bumpy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris (Himself): "Gentlemen, start your engines. It's gonna be a bumpy bleeping ride."
age14.wav(486K) age14.mp3(221K) age14.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold: "Neil, can you just focus on driving? You've had-- Focus on the road. You've had dozens of schrooms, my friend."
Neil Patrick Harris: "Uh, Dude, I was able to perform an appendectomy at age 14. I think I can handle a couple mushrooms."
Kumar: "Wasn't that just a TV Show?"
Neil Patrick Harris: "Jesus Christ! Did you see that unicorn? It's horn was so shiny."
unicorn.wav(110K) unicorn.mp3(51K) unicorn.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "Did you see that unicorn? It's horn was so shiny."
letmebeclear.wav(332K) letmebeclear.mp3(151K) letmebeclear.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "Oh, let me be clear. There is nothing on the planet that I love more than a hot, new pussy."
Neil Patrick Harris: "Nothing. What does the P.H. stand for in N.P.H.?"
Harold: "Patrick Harris."
Neil Patrick Harris: "No, common mistake. Poon Handler."
nph.wav(171K) nph.mp3(78K) nph.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "What does the P.H. stand for in N.P.H.?"
Harold: "Patrick Harris."
Neil Patrick Harris: "No, common mistake. Poon Handler."
myballs.wav(120K) myballs.mp3(55K) myballs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "Every time I see a bag of Hershey's Kisses, my balls get so wet."
whatthefu.wav(39K) whatthefu.mp3(18K) whatthefu.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "What the Bleep?!"
cool.wav(337K) cool.mp3(154K) cool.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kumar: "Neil, I don't know how to say this any other way, man, but we're fugitives."
Neil Patrick Harris: "Oh, cool."
Harold: "Okay, well, we've got to find a way to get out of this."
Neil Patrick Harris: "Please, you act like I've never smuggled a fugitive across state lines before. Here, hide in that."
neilpatrickharris.wav(307K) neilpatrickharris.mp3(140K) neilpatrickharris.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ron Fox: "Neil Patrick Harris."
Neil Patrick Harris: "Yup."
Ron Fox: "It is an honor to meet you, sir."
Neil Patrick Harris: "Yeah, I would imagine so."
detour.wav(282K) detour.mp3(129K) detour.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "Dudes, I'm gonna take a little detour on the way, alright?"
Harold: "No, Neil. No. But we're almost there, man."
Neil Patrick Harris: "No buts. No buts! I'm going to a whore house and I'm gonna get my bleep on. If you two don't want to get your dicks wet, that's fine with me."
whorehouse.wav(74K) whorehouse.mp3(34K) whorehouse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "I'm going to a whore house and I'm gonna get my bleep on."
magical.wav(155K) magical.mp3(71K) magical.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Neil Patrick Harris: "Well, I hope you're ready for me, Tits, 'cause I'm gonna rock out with my cock out and you're gonna jam out with your clam out. It's gonna be magical."
douchebag.wav(79K) douchebag.mp3(37K) douchebag.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kumar: "You are a douchebag, you bleeping douchebag, bleep you!"
watchyourback.wav(43K) watchyourback.mp3(20K) watchyourback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold: "You best watch your back, bitch!"
peoplelikeyou.wav(202K) peoplelikeyou.mp3(92K) peoplelikeyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dr. Jack Beecher (Roger Bart): "You know, it's people like you who make the world think that Americans are stupid! Well, we're not stupid! And we're not gonna take this shit anymore!"
extreme.wav(64K) extreme.mp3(30K) extreme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kumar: "Oh, man, that was so bleeping extreme!"
cheyney.wav(224K) cheyney.mp3(102K) cheyney.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dick Cheyney: "George? We're gonna be late for that wedding."
George W. Bush (James Adomian): "Shit, it's Cheyney. Come on, you guys. Keep quiet. Follow me. That guy scares the crap out of me. Let's go hide in the guesthouse. Come the bleep on."
hypocriticizer.wav(534K) hypocriticizer.mp3(243K) hypocriticizer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kumar: "This is weed. "
George W. Bush: "That's Alabama Kush. That's only the finest."
Kumar: "So, you get high and then you put other people who smoke weed in jail."
George W. Bush: "Duh."
Kumar: "That's so hypocritical."
Harold: "Hey, hey."
George W. Bush: "Yeah? Well, let me ask you something, Kumar. You like giving handjobs?"
Kumar: "No, sir."
George W. Bush: "You like getting hand jobs?"
George W. Bush: "Alright. Well, that makes you a bleeping hypocriticizer too. So shut the bleep up and smoke my weed."
blewmymind.wav(621K) blewmymind.mp3(282K) blewmymind.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold: "If you like weed so much, why don't you just legalize it?"
George W. Bush: "Are you bleeping kidding me? You know how pissed off my dad would get if I did that?"
Kumar: "Holy shit, dude. My dad's all up in my shit too, about this whole med school thing, right? And it's no that I don't want to be a doctor, but like, bleep ing, sometimes I wonder if he's just encouraging me because he knows it'll make me happy or because he wants me to carry on his legacy, you know?"
George W. Bush: "You just blew my bleepin' mind."
itsw.wav(767K) itsw.mp3(349K) itsw.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
George W. Bush: "Daddy. Yeah, it's W. I don't need your friends to tell me what to do anymore. No, I'm not being disrespectful."
Kumar: "That's what I say."
George W. Bush: "I'm just saying that I can handle my own shit, alright? I mean, I don't need them to tell me how to do what I have to do."
Kumar: "Yeah, dude."
George W. Bush: "Yeah, well you know what? Yeah, well, bleep you Dad! Bleep you!"
Harold: "Dude, that was awesome!"
George W. Bush: "You guys are awesome."
Kumar: "No, no."
Harold: "You're awesome!"
George W. Bush: "You are awesomer."
Kumar: "Sir, you are awesome. Seriously."
yourcountry.wav(479K) yourcountry.mp3(218K) yourcountry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Harold: "Listen, to be honest, after all the shit that we've been through, I don't know if we can trust our government anymore."
George W. Bush: "Trust the government? Heck, I'm in the government and I don't even trust it. You don't have to believe in the government to be a good American. You just have to believe in your country."