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Lurch: "Follow me!"

Lurch: "YOU RANG"

Guy Mrom Magazine: "We're running a story on haunted houses and yours has been chosen the spookiest one of all"
Mortica: "Thank you, we do try"

Gomez: "Lurch, they're ganging up on me, what do I do?"
Lurch: "Run"

: "(From theme - Da Da Dum, click, click)"

Gomez: "There's a touch of madness around here"

Fester: "Why do you keep staring at me?"

Gomez: "Great jumpin' catfish, where did you find those monstrosities?"

Morticia: "Oh this is dreadful, has your memory been destroyed?"