All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

Archie

Archie Bunker: "We didn't come out from under no rocks, we didn't have no tails, and we didn't come from monkees, you atheistic pinko meathead!"

: "What about you meathead, didn't I give you a direct order?"

: "Don't try to be funny, will ya Meathead"

: "Hey, are you listening to me, Hey Meathead!"

Archie: "Edith where are ya?"
Edith: "Is that you Archie?"
Archie: "No its Marcus Welby makin' a house call!"

: " Can't you ask me an intelligent question?"
Mike: "I didn't wanna confuse you"

: "Well don't be lookin' at me. Nothin' I can do about it. Go on and go about your business"

: "I've learned to expect nuttin' but aggravation from you anyhow!"

: "That's cause you're a Meathead"

Archie: "Well ya know who I think you should call?"
Edith: "Who?"
Archie: "Chicken Delight Edith cause we ain't gonna get no supper outta you!""

: "Certainly all them surgeons are highway robbers. Why do you think they wear masks when they operate?"

: "What happened to my eggs over easy and my crispy bacon?"

: "It looks like we lost a daughter, but we gained a meathead"

: "First time in 23 years our minds are synchrosized"

: "The world keeps turning over, and every time it turns, it leans on me"

: " I got a lot of things to say to you, you get right over here"

: "You better have it over here tootie sweet!"

: "It's been a charmin' interlude"

: "Good evening all, and a wonderful evening it's gonna be"

: "DB Edith"
Edith: "DB?"
Archie: "Ding Bat"

: "Get me an ice bag, will ya"
Edith: "For your head?"
Archie: "No Edith, I wanna build an igloo"

: "Where's my crunchy cereal with the animal cutouts?"

: "Ya got a very worfed sense of humor"

: "You're a pip, ya know that?"

: "Listen little girl, you just go on and mind your own beeswax, hah"

: "Edith will you stifle, WILL YOU STIFLE!"

: "So why don't ya fix it Meadhead, hah?"

: "He's actually threatin' to do something around here"

: "See these guys are all the same, they take one fall in an argument and they throw in the towel"

: "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook"

: "Now whadda call this, Edith?"
Edith: "That was a Christmas present"
Archie: "What fat head has spent any money on a thing like that?"
Edith: "From your mother"

Edith

: "Here we are, come and get it!"

: "Here's your beer Archie"

: "Well that's what it looks like I know, but how do you know that what you see, is all there is?"

: "Well, that's what they say"

: "That was so thrilling"

: "I didn't say that"

: "I can't find it"

: "How do ya do!"

Mike

yelling: "How can you people say I'm uptight? Do I look uptight?"

: "Ah, he's all right. Just a little indigestion, comes from eating his own words"

: "Meat head, that means dead from the neck up"

: "You sure are shoveling it tonight, Arch"

: "Let's get to the point, hah?"

: "Ya know you are totally incomphrensible"
Archie: "Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense"

Gloria

: "65 percent of the people murdered in the last 10 years were killed by hand guns"
Archie: "Would it make you feel any better little girl if they was pushed outta windows?"

: "So just this once, can't ya share a little, huh?"

Misc. Characters

: "Friend of Mike's - "Hey, what's happin' man?"
Archie: "I'm havin' a stroke"

: "Jefferson's brother - "Well, what you see is what you get"