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: "Theme for Black Adder 4"

Edmund: "Look, am I paying for this personal abuse or is it extra?"

Edmund: "The Black Adder!"

Edmund: "Your breath comes straight from Satan's bottom."

Baldrick & Edmund: "Have you got a plan my lord?" "Yes I have, and it's so cunning you could brush your teeth with it."

Edmund: "As I shall be known from now on... The Black Vegetable."

Edmund: "I think the phrase rhymes with *clucking bell*."

Edmund: "You utter creep."

Baldrick: "I have a cunning plan that cannot fail."

Baldrick: "I have a cunning plan which could get you out of this problem."

Baldrick: "May I present, my cunning plan..."

Edmund: "Dear Enemy, I curse you and hope that something slightly unpleasant happens to you like an onion falling on your head."

Edmund: "Dear Enemy, may the Lord hate you and all your kind, may you be turned orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment."

Edmund: "Dead men don't tend to make social calls, do they?"

Edmund: "Make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease."

Edmund: "Now the sort of person we're looking for is an aggressive, drunken lout with the intelligence of a four-year old and the sexual sophistication of a donkey."

Edmund: "A chat with you and somehow death loses it's sting."

Edmund: "Kate, he looks like what he is - a dung ball in a dress."

: "Oh yes, the eunuchs!" Unix? :)"

Edmund: "I would advise you to make the explanation you were about to give phenomenally good."

Edmund: "Oh yes, damn. Percy, the devil farts in my face once more."

Edmund: "A fate worse than a fate worse than death... That's pretty bad."

Edmund: "I'll just go an tell them to fornicate off."

Edmund: "I would shake your hand but I fear it would come off."

Edmund: "Edmund explains the differences between Heaven & Hell"

Edmund: "The Black Adder gives you his word."

Edmund: "You must be joking!"

Edmund: "My name is Edmund Blackadder, and I am the new minister in charge of religious genocide. Now, if you play straight with me, you'll find me a considerate employer. But cross me and you'll soon discover that underthis playful, boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless sedistic maniac."

Edmund: "Sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm nasty."

Edmund: "Oh damn..."

Edmund: "The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd!"

Edmund: "I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel."

Edmund: "Prepare to die!"

Edmund: "Thank you young crone. Here is a purse of monies, which I'm not going to give to you."

Edmund: "The Black Adder is a venomous reptile, and women are his prey."

Edmund: "Shove off you old trout."

Edmund: "Shut up and never say anything again as long as you live."

Edmund: "We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod."

Edmund: "No, I'd rather French kiss a skunk."

Edmund: "I know you mean to be friendly, but I hope you won't take it amiss if I ask you to sod off and die."

Percy: "If you're not careful, all the children will dance about outside your window singing sour-puss and grumpy-face, and you wouldn't want that now would you?"

Edmund: "If I wanted to talk to a vegetable I would have bought one at the market."

Lord Flasheart: "She's got a tounge like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils."

Edmund: "Yep, but they have one great redeeming feature - their wallets. More capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on."

Edmund: "This is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called 'wit'."

Edmund: "This is the worst moment of my entire life."