All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

203_40miles.wav(K) 203_40miles.mp3(K)

Cartman: "I clocked you at 40 miles per hour back there..."

203_40mileslong.wav(449K) 203_40mileslong.mp3(449K)

Cartman: "The long version of the above clip."

203_520.wav(77K) 203_520.mp3(77K)

: "All units, all units, we have a 520 on the suspect..."

203_635av...wav(118K) 203_635av...mp3(118K)

: "All units, all units!  512 at 635 Ave De Los Mexicanos, request assistance."

203_anarchy.wav(139K) 203_anarchy.mp3(139K)

: "This just in!  South Park has plunged into total anarchy."

203_atlasshr...wav(31K) 203_atlasshr...mp3(31K)

: "I give you this hardback copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' by Ann Rand."

203_backto...wav(25K) 203_backto...mp3(25K)

Mayor McDaniels: "It's back to school with Officer Barbrady!"

203_bank.wav(82K) 203_bank.mp3(82K)

: "Sure, there's just one problem... we're a bank."

203_barbr...wav(108K) 203_barbr...mp3(108K)

Officer Barbrady: "Swingset, swingset, up and down I go..."
: ""

203_beforeafter.wav(52K) 203_beforeafter.mp3(52K)

Mr. Garrison: "Officer Barbrady, in school we go to the bathroom before and after class."

203_bigwords.wav(90K) 203_bigwords.mp3(90K)

Cartman: "Hey, there's alot of big words in these books."

203_bminus.wav(112K) 203_bminus.mp3(112K)

Cartman: "... a bunch of hippies walk around and paint stuff, they eat lunch..."

203_camelpoo.wav(???K) 203_camelpoo.mp3(???K)

Officer Barbrady: "Ohh, camelpoo!"14K)"

203_cartma...wav(Cartman's 'on the beat' music.)"(143K) 203_cartma...mp3(Cartman's 'on the beat' music.)"(143K)

: ""

203_caseclosed.wav(???K) 203_caseclosed.mp3(???K)

Officer Barbrady: "Sorry I had sex with the chicken.  I won't do it again, byebye."50K)"

203_catatonic.wav(49K) 203_catatonic.mp3(49K)

: "This time he made love to Carla Weather's prize chicken.  She's catatonic."

203_chickenlover.wav(79K) 203_chickenlover.mp3(79K)

Officer Barbrady: "Mayor, please.  When we're around children we prefer to call him the chickenlover."

203_closethem.wav(253K) 203_closethem.mp3(253K)

: "The seventiesish closing theme for this episode."

203_clue.wav(55K) 203_clue.mp3(55K)

Officer Barbrady: "Gimme that!  That's a clue, and you'll get your stinking DNA all over it."

203_clusters.wav(37K) 203_clusters.mp3(37K)

Cartman: "Poor people tend to live in clusters."

203_comeon.wav(13K) 203_comeon.mp3(13K)

Kyle: "C'mon dumbass!   You can do it!"

203_conjugate.wav(87K) 203_conjugate.mp3(87K)

Mr. Garrison: "Conjugate the verb.  Yes, conjugate the verb!"
Mr. Hat: ""

203_coup.wav(102K) 203_coup.mp3(102K)

: "Say, what are nice chickens like you doing in a coop like this?"

203_curlup.wav(86K) 203_curlup.mp3(86K)

Officer Barbrady: "I think I'll get in the bathtub and then curl up with a good book."

203_damnit.wav(26K) 203_damnit.mp3(26K)

Cartman: "bleep damnit!"

203_deputize.wav(54K) 203_deputize.mp3(54K)

Officer Barbrady: "Under Article 39, Section 2 of police code, I'm allowed to deputize citizens..."

203_disgusting.wav(Cluck cluck cluck)"(24K) 203_disgusting.mp3(Cluck cluck cluck)"(24K)

: "My god, that's disgusting! "

203_domesticdi...wav(236K) 203_domesticdi...mp3(236K)

Cartman: " ...calm everybody down.  Respect my authority!"

203_downquicker.wav(152K) 203_downquicker.mp3(152K)

Officer Barbrady: "You gotta get them in the head, they go down quicker."

203_drama...wav(46K) 203_drama...mp3(46K)

: "Just dramatic effect, sorry."

203_dumbass.wav(71K) 203_dumbass.mp3(71K)

Mr. Garrison: "Bzzzz, wrong!  Try again, dumbass!"

203_eyespeeled.wav(73K) 203_eyespeeled.mp3(73K)

Officer Barbrady: "Keep your eyes peeled boys.  Somebody's gonna make love to this chicken..."

203_faster.wav(45K) 203_faster.mp3(45K)

Cartman: "bleepdamnit, can't this thing go any faster."

203_forget.wav(107K) 203_forget.mp3(107K)

Officer Barbrady: "If you do not comply, I'll be forced to execute each and every one of you by a gunshot to the head."

203_fruitcake.wav(89K) 203_fruitcake.mp3(89K)

Officer Barbrady: "Oh, just give us the damned book, fruitcake!"

203_givein.wav(36K) 203_givein.mp3(36K)

: "Go ahead and pick any books you like, then give in... give in to the magic!"

203_BLEEPdamnit.wav(31K) 203_BLEEPdamnit.mp3(31K)

Stan: "Oh my god, they killed... bleep damnit."

203_godoggo.wav(79K) 203_godoggo.mp3(79K)

Officer Barbrady: "...I found it a compelling yet disturbing look at the canine psyche.  If I may read a passage..."

203_gofirst.wav(87K) 203_gofirst.mp3(87K)

Mr. Garrison: "What's the matter Eric, are you not prepared again?"

203_goodytw...wav(59K) 203_goodytw...mp3(59K)

Mr. Garrison: "That was a very good book report indeed.  I'll give you an A."

203_grabhim.wav(69K) 203_grabhim.mp3(69K)

Officer Barbrady: " Grab him!"

203_halfie.wav(84K) 203_halfie.mp3(84K)

Mr. Garrison: "You couldn't screw anything Halfie, you don't have any legs."

203_hardman.wav(61K) 203_hardman.mp3(61K)

Officer Barbrady: "It's a hard job, but then again, I'm a hard man."

203_heroicwork.wav(72K) 203_heroicwork.mp3(72K)

: "...to honor Officer Barbrady, and his heroic work on the Chicken bleeper case."

203_hooray.wav(39K) 203_hooray.mp3(39K)

Kyle: "Wow!  I guess reading really does suck ass."

203_how.wav(18K) 203_how.mp3(18K)

Stan: "Whoa dude!  How do you have sex with a chicken?"

203_i.wav(62K) 203_i.mp3(62K)

Officer Barbrady: "It says, "Mmmmm... er, mmmmm..."  What's this word?"

203_idiot.wav(48K) 203_idiot.mp3(48K)

Officer Barbrady: " I know that smartypants.  What do you think I am, some kinda idiot?"

203_illegitamate.wav(94K) 203_illegitamate.mp3(94K)

Officer Barbrady: "You push and you push and now you know my terrible secret!  I'm illegitamate!"

203_killer.wav(15K) 203_killer.mp3(15K)

: "Whoopee!  This is killer!"

203_kylesreviews.wav(30K) 203_kylesreviews.mp3(30K)

Kyle: "Boring.  Boring. Gay.  Boring..."

203_lame.wav(19K) 203_lame.mp3(19K)

Officer Barbrady: "Oh, bleep damn, reading is lame!"

203_leaveofab...wav(48K) 203_leaveofab...mp3(48K)

: "By the mayor's order, Officer Barbrady is on temporary leave of absence to learn to read."

203_lionw...wav(77K) 203_lionw...mp3(77K)

Cartman: "For my book report, I read The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.   It was very very good."

203_listen.wav(31K) 203_listen.mp3(31K)

Cartman: "Maybe this will teach you to listen to authority!"

203_magicofre...wav(139K) 203_magicofre...mp3(139K)

: "The Booktastic Bus driver tells the boys about the 'magic of reading'."

203_mexicanos.wav(39K) 203_mexicanos.mp3(39K)

: "All units.  All units!  Report to 254 Avenue de los Mexicanos.   Possible hostile situation."

203_nevermind.wav(38K) 203_nevermind.mp3(38K)

Stan: "Oh my god, they killed... oh, nevermind!"

203_never...wav(125K) 203_never...mp3(125K)

Officer Barbrady: "I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of bleep, I'm never reading again."

203_newstudent.wav(45K) 203_newstudent.mp3(45K)

Mr. Garrison: "Children, we have a new student joining us today.  Please say "hi" to Officer Barbrady."

203_nightstick.wav(28K) 203_nightstick.mp3(28K)

Officer Barbrady: "Sure!  Nightsticks for everybody!"

203_nixon.wav(72K) 203_nixon.mp3(72K)

Officer Barbrady: "I knew it was you all along Richard Nixon!"

203_nothingtosee.wav(32K) 203_nothingtosee.mp3(32K)

Officer Barbrady: "Ok people, move along.  There's nothing to see here."

203_onedayatat...wav(70K) 203_onedayatat...mp3(70K)

Cartman: "Sometimes uploading the law is messy, but you get by... one day at a time."

203_peaceful.wav(55K) 203_peaceful.mp3(55K)

Mayor McDaniels: "All this time Barbrady actually did keep this town peaceful."

203_pizza.wav(33K) 203_pizza.mp3(33K)

: "Barbrady, your wife called.  She wants you to get some pizza on the way home."

203_podunk.wav(16K) 203_podunk.mp3(16K)

Officer Barbrady: "This ain't no podunk little town."

203_poopies.wav(24K) 203_poopies.mp3(24K)

Officer Barbrady: "I need to go poopies."

203_presscon...wav(226K) 203_presscon...mp3(226K)

Officer Barbrady: " Barbrady gives the press conference about the chicken bleeper."

203_retard.wav(87K) 203_retard.mp3(87K)

Mr. Hat: "I sure did, Mr. Garrison!  What a retard, heheh!"

203_returntoh...wav(57K) 203_returntoh...mp3(57K)

Officer Barbrady: "I said return to your homes, before I start arresting people!"

203_sense.wav(79K) 203_sense.mp3(79K)

: " Only by bleeping chickens could I get Officer Barbrady to become literate!"

203_sexnchickens.wav(31K) 203_sexnchickens.mp3(31K)

: "Barbrady, I just caught some guy in here having sex with one of my chickens."

203_shuthimup.wav(35K) 203_shuthimup.mp3(35K)

Stan: "No, we just fake it to shut him up."

203_shutup.wav(59K) 203_shutup.mp3(59K)

Cartman: "Reading sucks ass."

203_shutupdude.wav(12K) 203_shutupdude.mp3(12K)

Cartman: "Gosh, shut up dude!"

203_silente.wav(45K) 203_silente.mp3(45K)

Officer Barbrady: "Oh, I can't read this, it has silent E's."

203_speech.wav(172K) 203_speech.mp3(172K)

Officer Barbrady: "...to all of those out there who think that they can screw chickens just to teach people to read..."

203_stepout.wav(16K) 203_stepout.mp3(16K)

Cartman: "Step out of the car please, sir."

203_sweet.wav(73K) 203_sweet.mp3(73K)

Cartman: "Get your ass to jail!  Sweet!"

203_swingset.wav(???K) 203_swingset.mp3(???K)

Officer Barbrady: "Swingset!  Swingset!  Up and down I go..."

203_taxidermist.wav(56K) 203_taxidermist.mp3(56K)

Officer Barbrady: "Ta... tahhh.. taxxx... taxidermist!"

203_tenfour.wav(11K) 203_tenfour.mp3(11K)

Cartman: "Ten four, Sergeant."

203_thepassage.wav(180K) 203_thepassage.mp3(180K)

Officer Barbrady: " Big...dog... Little dog.  A red dog one ... well, anyway, I don't want to give away the ending."

203_thickskin.wav(121K) 203_thickskin.mp3(121K)

Cartman: "You definitely have to have some pretty thick skin, or else people walk all over you."

203_tingly.wav(51K) 203_tingly.mp3(51K)

Cartman: "I don't know, I'm kinda getting a tingly feeling looking at these."

203_toilet.wav(???K) 203_toilet.mp3(???K)

Stan: "You're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house."42K)"

203_transplant.wav(???K) 203_transplant.mp3(???K)

Mr. Garrison: " Does anybody have any suggestions on where we should begin with Officer Barbrady?"83K)"

203_tune.wav(???K) 203_tune.mp3(???K)

: " The Cops theme music."170K)"

203_turtles.wav(???K) 203_turtles.mp3(???K)

: " We're going to go grab some lunch, and then get some shots of those turtles down at the pond."40K)"

203_twentydol...wav(???K) 203_twentydol...mp3(???K)

: " Is twenty dollars enough?"28K)"

203_undercover.wav(???K) 203_undercover.mp3(???K)

Cartman: " Cartman goes undercover as a prostitute."235K)"

203_violated.wav(???K) 203_violated.mp3(???K)

: " With chicken after chicken being violated, the South Park police are under pressure..."74K)"

203_weak.wav(???K) 203_weak.mp3(???K)

Officer Barbrady: " Oh, weak dude!  We're too late!"45K)"

203_whatsthat.wav(???K) 203_whatsthat.mp3(???K)

Kenny: " What's that?"25K)"

203_whosinthere.wav(???K) 203_whosinthere.mp3(???K)

Kenny: " Mr. McCormick tells Deputy Cartman who's in the house."122K)"

203_yehright.wav(???K) 203_yehright.mp3(???K)

Cartman: " Hey!  I'm a copy, and you will respect my authority!"41K)"