All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

204_5minutes.wav(32K) 204_5minutes.mp3(32K)

Kyle: "Where have you been?  Dinner's been ready for 5 minutes!"

204_admitpro...wav(124K) 204_admitpro...mp3(124K)

Princupal Victoria: "You have to admit you have a problem before anybody can help you."

204_alcoholbad.wav(15K) 204_alcoholbad.mp3(15K)

Mr. Makey: "Uh, alcohol is bad."

204_appropriate.wav(83K) 204_appropriate.mp3(83K)

Mr. Makey: "Now, who was that?    That was not appropiate behavior, okay?"

204_BLEEPhole.wav(13K) 204_BLEEPhole.mp3(13K)

Kyle: "Knock it off, bleephole!"

204_ateam.wav(88K) 204_ateam.mp3(88K)

: "The A-team, along with Jimbo and Victoria bring Mr. Mackee to rehab."

204_backuphere.wav(24K) 204_backuphere.mp3(24K)

Mr. Makey: "Has that marijuana made it back up here yet?"

204_bad.wav(137K) 204_bad.mp3(137K)

Mr. Makey: "Drugs are bad.   You shouldn't do drugs.  If you do them, you're bad, ok?..."

204_baddog.wav(16K) 204_baddog.mp3(16K)

Kyle: "No, go away!  Bad dog!"

204_bastard.wav(59K) 204_bastard.mp3(59K)

Kyle: "..he was sent to his room for being a bastard."

204_beatit.wav(48K) 204_beatit.mp3(48K)

Kyle: "Go on, Canadian!  Beat it!  I'm through getting in trouble for yuo!"

204_beer.wav(76K) 204_beer.mp3(76K)

Mr. Makey: "Yeah, its just a beer, don't be such a pussy, ok?"

204_benetar.wav(85K) 204_benetar.mp3(85K)

Mr. Makey: "...we are young, ok.   Heatache to heartache, we stand... ok?"

204_bigger.wav(122K) 204_bigger.mp3(122K)

: "We're not gonna cut it off, we're going to snip it, so it looks bigger!"

204_boobala.wav(34K) 204_boobala.mp3(34K)

Kyle: "Hi boobala, I'm glad you're here.  You can help us decorate for that party."

204_bris.wav(53K) 204_bris.mp3(53K)

Ike: "The bris is performed on Ike."

204_brisnotgood.wav(18K) 204_brisnotgood.mp3(18K)

Stan: "Dude, something tells me this bris thing isn't good."

204_canadian.wav(159K) 204_canadian.mp3(159K)

Kyle: "He was not really a Broflowski, he was Canadian.  But we loved him just the same."

204_cannibals.wav(15K) 204_cannibals.mp3(15K)

Kyle: "I can't belive my parents are cannibals."

204_caucasian.wav(43K) 204_caucasian.mp3(43K)

: "I'm sorry, but we just can't throw caucasian babies on an outbound train."

204_chopfireman.wav(34K) 204_chopfireman.mp3(34K)

Cartman: "Dude, you don't just chop off somebody's fireman!"

204_chopping.wav(18K) 204_chopping.mp3(18K)

Cartman: "I guess the chopping is about to commence."

204_chopweewee.wav(43K) 204_chopweewee.mp3(43K)

Stan: "They're going to chop off his wee wee!"

204_cirumstision.wav(12K) 204_cirumstision.mp3(12K)

Stan: "It's called a cirumstision!"

204_clearliquid.wav(66K) 204_clearliquid.mp3(66K)

Mr. Makey: "Uh, boys... LSD is bad."

204_closetheme.wav(138K) 204_closetheme.mp3(138K)

: "(Some cool closing music.)"

204_college.wav(72K) 204_college.mp3(72K)

Chef: "There's a time and a place for everything, and its called college."

204_crabtree.wav(18K) 204_crabtree.mp3(18K)

Ms. Crabtree: "Aggggghhhhh!"

204_crazy.wav(56K) 204_crazy.mp3(56K)

Kyle: "They've just gone crazy for a while.  Please mister, I have to hide my brother..."

204_cutof...wav(54K) 204_cutof...mp3(54K)

Cartman: "They are going to cut off his fireman."

204_depressed.wav(74K) 204_depressed.mp3(74K)

Mr. Makey: "Marijuana makes you feel depressed and low, ok?"

204_droppedoff.wav(85K) 204_droppedoff.mp3(85K)

: "Would you look at that honey?  Somebody dropped off a perfectly good trashcan!"

204_druguser.wav(28K) 204_druguser.mp3(28K)

: "Drug user!  Drug user!"

204_dust2dust.wav(45K) 204_dust2dust.mp3(45K)

: "Yea, usher us unto the Lord. Sayeth some Jewish guy once, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.""

204_endsmeet.wav(121K) 204_endsmeet.mp3(121K)

Mr. Makey: "How am I going to make ends meet, ok? What will I do for money?"

204_family.wav(103K) 204_family.mp3(103K)

Cartman: "Well, screw you guys!   I don't want to be in your penis chopping family anyway!"

204_fingerpaint.wav(121K) 204_fingerpaint.mp3(121K)

Mr. Makey: "Sure, man... fingerpainting is cool... ok?"

204_fired.wav(137K) 204_fired.mp3(137K)

Princupal Victoria: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to suspend you from school!"

204_fireman.wav(63K) 204_fireman.mp3(63K)

Cartman: "That's the proper way to say it, or else you get a spanking."

204_first.wav(49K) 204_first.mp3(49K)

Cartman: "No way!  I set up mine first, hippie!"

204_flag.wav(82K) 204_flag.mp3(82K)

Stan: "Hey, wait a minute, why does Ike's tombstone have the Canadian flag on it?"

204_fortune.wav(30K) 204_fortune.mp3(30K)

Mr. Makey: "Oh, fortune, how you mock me!"

204_fouryearold.wav(53K) 204_fouryearold.mp3(53K)

: "Hey, Mackee, do you have any more pot, my four year old needs a fix?"

204_gahagafaka.wav(28K) 204_gahagafaka.mp3(28K)

Cartman: "What the hell is gahagafaka?"

204_garri...wav(62K) 204_garri...mp3(62K)

Mr. Garrison: "Mr. Garrison mellows out a little."

204_goodidea.wav(36K) 204_goodidea.mp3(36K)

Cartman: "Yeah, I want to get a cirumstision too!"

204_ham.wav(31K) 204_ham.mp3(31K)

Kyle: "No, not ham you fat bleep!"

204_hellno.wav(38K) 204_hellno.mp3(38K)

Chef: "Oh, hell no!  I can't bear to see that!"

204_hesdead.wav(241K) 204_hesdead.mp3(241K)

Kyle: "He's dead!  He's dead!"

204_heychef.wav(5K) 204_heychef.mp3(5K)

Stan: "Hey Chef!"

204_hidiho.wav(11K) 204_hidiho.mp3(11K)

Ike: "Ike murmmurs a bit."

204_hippiessuck.wav(34K) 204_hippiessuck.mp3(34K)

Cartman: "I know, drugs are bad, because if you do drugs, you're a hippy, and hippies suck."

204_homealone.wav(25K) 204_homealone.mp3(25K)

Cartman: "No way!  We're not staying alone in your house with your wee wee chopping parents."

204_homer.wav(43K) 204_homer.mp3(43K)

: "Hey Mackee.  What do you and Homer Simpson have in common?  Dope!"

204_ike.wav(39K) 204_ike.mp3(39K)

Ike: "A few words from Ike."

204_ikespeaks.wav(88K) 204_ikespeaks.mp3(88K)

Ike: "Ike shows the photo album to Kyle."

204_individual.wav(121K) 204_individual.mp3(121K)

Mr. Makey: "Wow man, its like, you go through life thinking you're an inviducal, ok..."

204_introduction.wav(122K) 204_introduction.mp3(122K)

Mr. Makey: "First of all, smoking is bad.  You shouldn't smoke, and, uh alcohol is bad..."

204_jamaican.wav(54K) 204_jamaican.mp3(54K)

Princupal Victoria: "We searched each one of those kids and came up empty.  We had to let them go home..."

204_jellybean.wav(35K) 204_jellybean.mp3(35K)

Kyle: "How is my little jellybean?"

204_jerryberry.wav(55K) 204_jerryberry.mp3(55K)

Mr. Makey: "I can't man, Jerry Berry's dead, ok?"

204_keepy...wav(57K) 204_keepy...mp3(57K)

Kyle: "If you want to keep your penis, you have to get on this train!   Ready Ike, kick the baby!"

204_killedkenny.wav(95K) 204_killedkenny.mp3(95K)

Kyle: "You bastard."

204_killingme.wav(28K) 204_killingme.mp3(28K)

Cartman: "Yeah, my ass is killing me."

204_killyou.wav(104K) 204_killyou.mp3(104K)

: "Now get off my property before I lose control and kill you!"

204_kiss.wav(42K) 204_kiss.mp3(42K)

Kyle: "Ok, but first let mommy give you a kiss."

204_lennon.wav(27K) 204_lennon.mp3(27K)

Mr. Makey: "It's a drug made famous by John Lennon and Paul McCartney."

204_littl...wav(69K) 204_littl...mp3(69K)

Kyle: "All this time, "Look out for your little brother, Kyle."   "Keep an eye on your little brother, Kyle.""

204_lsdbad.wav(38K) 204_lsdbad.mp3(38K)

Mr. Makey: "Let's talk about LSD.   Uh, children, LSD, is bad."

204_marijuana.wav(29K) 204_marijuana.mp3(29K)

Mr. Makey: "Let's focus our discussion first on marijuana."

204_marijuanabad.wav(11K) 204_marijuanabad.mp3(11K)

Mr. Makey: "Marijuana is bad."

204_married.wav(81K) 204_married.mp3(81K)

: "Let's get married and have a honeymoon in India."

204_mmkay1.wav(100K) 204_mmkay1.mp3(100K)

Stan: "The boys do their Mr. Mackee impression."

204_myhouse.wav(22K) 204_myhouse.mp3(22K)

Mr. Makey: "Uh, is this my house?"

204_normally.wav(48K) 204_normally.mp3(48K)

Kyle: "Normally we do it right after the baby is born.  But we had to do it later for Ike, because he's-"

204_noses.wav(46K) 204_noses.mp3(46K)

Stan: "Why do dogs have cold noses?"

204_notcool.wav(46K) 204_notcool.mp3(46K)

Cartman: "Dude, that is not cool.  Chopping off wee wees is not cool."

204_one.wav(159K) 204_one.mp3(159K)

Mr. Makey: "I am one with the animals and trees..."

204_ow.wav(162K) 204_ow.mp3(162K)

Ike: "Ike says "Ow.""

204_peepee.wav(73K) 204_peepee.mp3(73K)

Kyle: "Let us cut off your pee pee, Stan!"

204_penis.wav(71K) 204_penis.mp3(71K)

Chef: "No boys, I'm talking about the most important part of a man's body."

204_ponder.wav(46K) 204_ponder.mp3(46K)

: "Yea, let us ponder the Lord's mercy.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

204_rightwing.wav(130K) 204_rightwing.mp3(130K)

Mr. Makey: "I don't need to take your right wing authoritative bullbleep."

204_rugrat.wav(67K) 204_rugrat.mp3(67K)

: "  ...then I remembered that Ike is a Canadian, so I brought the right one."

204_sacred.wav(77K) 204_sacred.mp3(77K)

Chef: "What's the one thing more sacred to a man then anything else in the world?"

204_savelife.wav(68K) 204_savelife.mp3(68K)

Mr. Makey: "What I'm talking about might save your life one day, ok?"

204_seinfeld.wav(19K) 204_seinfeld.mp3(19K)

: "(A bit of Seinfeld-esque music between scenes)"

204_sellingdrugs.wav(27K) 204_sellingdrugs.mp3(27K)

: "I heard that you got fired from your job for selling drugs to children."

204_smartass.wav(68K) 204_smartass.mp3(68K)

Kyle: "Mind your mother, er, smartass."

204_solution.wav(87K) 204_solution.mp3(87K)

Kyle: "Because they are an addictive solution to a greater problem causing disease to both body and mind..."

204_sorry.wav(49K) 204_sorry.mp3(49K)

Stan: "Sorry Mr. Mackee, ok?"

204_sorryike.wav(82K) 204_sorryike.mp3(82K)

Kyle: "Now you march to your room and think about what you have done!"

204_spit.wav(100K) 204_spit.mp3(100K)

Cartman: "The fireman is very magical.  If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye."

204_stiffdrink.wav(72K) 204_stiffdrink.mp3(72K)

Mr. Makey: "I don't drink, ok?"

204_stronger.wav(70K) 204_stronger.mp3(70K)

: "You just need something a little stronger."

204_tablepost.wav(27K) 204_tablepost.mp3(27K)

: "Hey lady, that's my table post!  You can't have that!"

204_theforce.wav(71K) 204_theforce.mp3(71K)

: "His father had it... his grandfather had it... and brother had it."

204_theme.wav(212K) 204_theme.mp3(212K)

: "(The opening theme.)"

204_timeplace.wav(52K) 204_timeplace.mp3(52K)

Princupal Victoria: "There is a time and a place for everything, Mr. Mackee, and its called college."

204_toke.wav(137K) 204_toke.mp3(137K)

Mr. Makey: "I don't feel any differ- ooooh, oh baby, get down, ok?  Man, this alley is so cool!"

204_toocold.wav(40K) 204_toocold.mp3(40K)

Mr. Makey: "I can't sleep, its too cold, ok?"

204_toohard.wav(65K) 204_toohard.mp3(65K)

Kyle: "No way!  There's no real connection between us.  It was all a big lie."

204_traffic.wav(73K) 204_traffic.mp3(73K)

: "The traffic jeers at Mr. Mackee."

204_trashcan.wav(60K) 204_trashcan.mp3(60K)

: "That's a little brother?  I thought he was a trashcan or something.  What's wrong with his head?"

204_trip.wav(153K) 204_trip.mp3(153K)

Mr. Makey: "Mr. Mackee is totally tripping."

204_trouble.wav(97K) 204_trouble.mp3(97K)

Mr. Makey: "Are you boys staying out of trouble.  Ok, I'm just going to go over here for awhile."

204_uhoh.wav(8K) 204_uhoh.mp3(8K)

: "Uh oh."

204_understand.wav(27K) 204_understand.mp3(27K)

Chef: "Do you understand?"

204_weak.wav(25K) 204_weak.mp3(25K)

: "Aw, that's weak, man."

204_weirdo.wav(51K) 204_weirdo.mp3(51K)

Kyle: "You're not going to cut off his wee wee!  Not today you sick ass weirdo."

204_whatbris.wav(15K) 204_whatbris.mp3(15K)

Cartman: "What the hell is a bris?"

204_whatwhatwhat.wav(11K) 204_whatwhatwhat.mp3(11K)

Kyle: "What? What? What?"

204_whohas.wav(27K) 204_whohas.mp3(27K)

Mr. Makey: "Uh, who has the marijuana now?"

204_whybad.wav(46K) 204_whybad.mp3(46K)

Mr. Makey: "As your counselor, I'm here to tell you about drugs and alcohol, and why they're bad, ok?"

204_wouldnt.wav(44K) 204_wouldnt.mp3(44K)

Stan: "C'mon dude.  If it was your little brother, we'd help you."